Portrait & Profile

The Rifle Blows Smoke

Marines need no introduction to the rifle, for they are not Marines until they are proven riflemen. But say one was to sit down and give us a quick interview, a rifle not a Marine. Ah, the stories it could tell. For those unfamiliar, may we give you, with wild imagination, the M16-A2 service rifle:

  • M16-A2 No. 2401036
  • Age: Twentysomething
  • Hometown: Hartford, Conn.
  • MOS: Name Taker
M16-A2 No. 2401036
  • Your family has a long history of service.
    This is true. My dad, the original M16, was adopted by Army and Air Force parents. With Vietnam going on, he wanted to go straight into action. It didn’t take long for the Marines to bring him into their fold.

  • You certainly have your father’s caliber.
    Thank you. I’m not quite the fully automatic slinger that he was, but I’ve been known to fire off — but nothing more than the occasional three-round burst. I’m more of a one-shot-one-kill type.

  • Would you prefer to be fully automatic?
    It’s not the rounds I fire, the noise of my burst, nor the smoke I make. It’s the hits that count. I will hit.

  • That sounds familiar.
    I’m paraphrasing the Rifleman’s Creed.

  • And a fine creed it is. Will you be passing it down to other generations like the M4 carbine?
    Already have. My descendants are still part of the family that traces its lineage back to the original M16. Some are fully automatic like their forefathers. The creed applies to all.

  • Who are your influences?
    Gen. P.X. Kelley, Gunny Highway — that era. I’m an ’80s child, so musically I’d have to go with Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.”

  • Forgive us for asking, but are you male or female?
    Female. The word “rifle” is masculine in most languages, but to my master, I’m Marilyn. I may just be parts and accessories, and there are many like me, but he treats me like a human. My Marine without me is useless, and without my Marine, I am useless.

  • Hmm.
    Look, I’m no different than the guys. Just treat me as if I were loaded, never point me at anything you do not intend to shoot, and nobody gets hurt.

  • Agreed. What is your best accessory?
    Thirty-round magazine. Can I say the worst accessory?

  • By all means.
    Three words: Blank. Firing. Adaptor. Nothing screams nonaction quite like a BFA muzzling my muzzle.

  • The M16-A4 and the M4 carbine are increasingly taking over the Marine Corps’ primary infantry arsenal. Are you becoming a relic?
    If they’re to be the next generation, so be it, until victory is America’s and there is no enemy, but peace!

  • The creed again?
    I can’t help myself.